I’m writing this based on a certain definition of confidence. Not only the type where you present well but also the deeper quieter type. The type where you can sit in peace. The kind where you feel secure in yourself. The kind where it’s so authentic you can smell the fake kind a mile away.
Here are my secrets to inner confidence:
1. Become aware, process and let go of the past
Whether we like it or not, our belief systems, thoughts and behaviours are heavily influenced by our past. As adults, we are responsible for our well-being and have a choice. We can choose to challenge our current way of thinking and behaviours. Or we can choose to continue on autopilot watching the same old results. Going through this step may require facing some difficult emotions. Find a process that's safe, trustworthy and credible but also makes you uncomfortable. Beware of staying stuck talking for too long about the past with a victim mindset. Walk away with a practical solution to assist daily living and let the past go. Start living in the now.
2. Stop running from insecurities, fears and doubts
So much unhappiness comes from being guided by insecurity. So much destruction in the world originates from fear. So much potential is wasted by doubt. I’d be lying if I said I had none. I have them just like everyone else. The magic comes when we decide to sit quietly with them. Let the rabbit out of the hat and watch it without judgement but don’t let it dictate the behaviour. They dissolve once we place awareness on them and get ready to laugh sometimes when you do!
3. Master Habits
Broken down into 3 groups.
Must Do’s - These represent the foundation of what you want to achieve. Designed to help you stay focused on the detail but always connected to the bigger picture. Find what works for you and be consistent and resilient. Bounce back up if you slip and try again, adjusting the formula if needed.
Must Nots - These represent anything that can destroy what you are building or have built. Be brave in calling it out. Look for your Achilles heal. If you don't have one, you will have one of the below
Must sometimes - These represent the less detrimental habits. You know you need to keep an eye on them and you have control. Improve control by anticipating and consciously choosing different responses. Sometimes you'll find you're already in the middle of it, that's good awareness. Follow that awareness up by choosing a different response for a better result. Habits also include negative self-talk, ruminating, posture & breath, procrastination and ego.
4. Courageous Action
Learning is important for confidence. But reading books, listening to podcasts or some other form of study will only get you so far. There does come a point where stepping outside your zone of comfort is needed. That point can be now without waiting until you feel 100% complete on 1, 2 and 3 above. If the action feels too scary, break it down into smaller feats and work your way up.
Bonus points if your action is serving others. Feel the difference you make, it trumps materialism.
5. Belief, Trust and Faith
Believe that honestly working 1,2,3 and 4 will improve things.
Trust yourself to show up allowing your intelligence, preparation and experience to deliver where required. Even if it doesn't work out as expected, you've still gained. You've gained feedback for your next try.
Have faith by letting go of the outcomes that you can't control. It will work out through the natural laws of the universe. Align and be patient.
Let's recreate the picture of confidence. Let's move to the new way of living together and watch inner confidence shine as a byproduct. Grow a society away from ego and towards soul. Teachings have been around for thousands of years and now is the time we need to wake back up to them.
If you’d like to find your path to inner confidence together, book a call to find out what that looks like.