How to Start Your Own Business

I know a lot of people are thinking about starting something of their own. With layoffs rising across industries, especially in tech, and AI changing how work gets done, it’s starting to feel like running your own business could take over as the more secure option one day.

Besides, wouldn’t it be great to see a return to a world where we live by trading goods and services with each other. You’ve a cow producing milk, I’ve a bakery for your toast. Even a more modern version of that…I went for an eye test last week and ended up spending €390 on new glasses. The optician, who owns the business, shared that he’s stressed. With some coaching and breathwork, we could’ve been all square.

Anyway, back to it.

Since I started coaching back in 2021, I’ve coached over 140 people. Around 30 of those had some connection to building a business, whether they had one already or were planning to leave corporate to start one.

So this article really is a dump of everything in my head in terms of what it takes. I’ve somewhat organised this dump into separate ingredients to a recipe. These are not traits or qualities someone is necessarily born with. Just like ingredients, if you don’t have them, go to the grocery store and buy them.

One last thing before we dive in. This is for someone who already has an idea (no matter how doubtful you are of that idea). It’s not really for those trying to find an idea, although it will still help, so keep reading… what else is worth scrolling instead?

Ingredient #1 — Welcome Self-Doubt

Before we go anywhere, if you don’t feel self-doubt, I’d be worried. It’s a signal to show you care about doing good work. It shows you have aspiration. You have a desire to succeed. Anyone starting out that’s suspiciously self-confident… run. Everyone I’ve worked with has experienced self-doubt to some degree, and still does the further they climb.

What you choose to do with that self-doubt is the question. You can let it push you onto the couch to eat Doritos and watch more YouTube videos, or you can address it. One of the most common thoughts when starting out is “I don’t know if I can be the face of the business”. Whether that’s feeling scared to put yourself out there on social media or at events. The reframe most people need here is simple - Stop making it about you.

Be of service to others.

This is about what your little business can do for someone else.

Ingredient #2 — Establish a Powerful WHY

You may know the WHAT (the idea), without having any notion of the HOW (the steps). That’s expected. So, before you even attempt to figure out what practical steps to take, first take the step of connecting to your WHY. Aside from making a living and putting food on the table, of course, why would you get out of bed to pursue this? Why is it important to you?

I’ve seen corporate professionals with decades of experience light up when they think about using their skills to help small businesses, ones that would otherwise struggle to figure things out or can’t access the big players.

Once you’ve connected to your why, link it to your values. Autonomy and Freedom comes through strongly for many. The desire to work on your own terms, without being boxed in by corporate structures and policies. For others, it’s about setting an example for their kids. Showing them what it looks like to follow something meaningful, rather than just telling them to.

One thing to be careful of. Don’t build this on something negative, like starting a business purely because you hate your job. That won’t last. It needs to be rooted in service and aligned with your values. That’s what will carry you when things get challenging.

Ingredient #3 — Be Persistent

In my first year, after expenses, including €7,600 invested into my own coaching and mentoring, I made a grand total profit of €8,097.32. Not exactly something to write home about, but enough to keep going for another year.

That first year was rough. My calls and messages were ignored daily. I might get one intro call booked per week. Out of those, one per month would be a no-show. Of the ones that did show up, on average one would sign up. And even then, once per quarter, one of those would ghost me. I did care. It frustrated me a lot, just not enough to stop.

And I think that’s where people misunderstand persistence. It’s often framed as forcing yourself to keep going, pushing through when you don’t feel like it. But there’s more to it than that. That approach can burn you out.

For me, it came from something deeper. A genuine desire to help people move beyond the patterns in their mind that were holding them back, in their work and in their life. You could say that was my WHY.

Because for the few people I did work with that year, I got to see that change play out in real life. And once you see that, it’s very hard to walk away from it.

When the other ingredients are in place, persistence stops feeling like something you have to think about.

It becomes something that just happens.

Throwback to my first year in business...

Ingredient #4 — Cut Out Self-Destructive Behaviour

Nip it in the bud early. If there’s one, you’ll know instantly after reading the words “Self-Destructive Behaviour”. Some are obvious and more intense than others, like alcohol use disorder, drugs, porn, or other forms of addiction. Any habit that is negatively impacting your mental, physical, emotional, financial or spiritual health on a consistent basis. Deep down you know it’s problematic and need it to stop in order to be truly successful. I’ve been open about mine before and will again. Alcohol was my nemesis. There is no way I would have lasted in business if I had not stopped. I can say that with full conviction.

Others are less intense but more persistent, slowly chipping away at your focus, energy and confidence over time. Things like social media use, the people you surround yourself with, or the environments you spend time in that don’t serve you. These don’t hit hard all at once, but they accumulate, and over time they take more than they give.

Ingredient #5 — Habits, Systems and Protocols

The goal here is to be productive on the things you say you’re going to do, without burning out in the process. It’s not glamorous. In fact, it’s quite boring. But high performance, more often than not, is built on doing the boring things consistently and choosing delayed gratification over instant reward.

Find a system that works for you. One client, while working full-time, allocated 1-2 hours a few mornings per week to their little business before work starts. That went on for a while. Then they negotiated their full-time position to 4 days per week, and then 3. After 1.5 years in total, they quit that job to continue running the business. They had built enough evidence to prove its viability.

If you’d like something practical to get started with, here’s the short version of a system that has worked for some other clients previously.

At the end of the working week, usually Friday evening, sit down and map out the week ahead.

Step 1 — List your priorities for the following week. Keep it between 3–7. The most important things, not everything.

Step 2 — Rank them in order of importance, 1-7…

Step 3 — At the end of each working day, time-block your next day from the moment you wake up. Include the most important items at the start of the week and at times of the day when focus is high.

The benefits are:

• It reduces decision fatigue because you’re not constantly figuring out what to do next.

• Once it’s written down, your mind can switch off more easily in the evening and hopefully, sleep better too.

• And at a subconscious level, you’re already working through how to complete those tasks. Trust that is happening.

Ingredient #6 — Include a Spiritual Practice

Call it God, the universe, a higher power, or something else entirely. It doesn’t really matter what you call it, as long as it’s not your incessant stream of thoughts, or worse, other people’s thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, we need our thoughts, and sometimes we need the thoughts of others, but in order for our minds to be clear, to think better, source inspiration, and remove blocks to living our potential, we need to access an intelligence beyond the function of the grey matter between our ears.

Practices like meditation and breathwork can help create access to this intelligence. Both are powerful in their own way, one is not better than the other, just different. In saying that, what I’m seeing is breathwork, due to its intensity, is faster at opening those channels. If you’re lucky, you might meet “God”, but most of the time people experience a physical or emotional release during the peaks of a session, with meaningful insights and clarity following. Unlike something like a runner’s high, these releases are often tied to old subconscious patterns that are getting in our way. In breathwork, the psyche knows how to reorganise itself, so you’re left feeling whole again. And from that wholeness, you can do real work in the world.

Not to discount meditation, it plays a different role. Whereas breathwork is fast at opening up the required channels to your source of inspiration, meditation helps you stay connected to it. It’s worth saying that meditation, because of its popularity in recent years, has come with some misconceptions. I come across many people who feel they’ve tried and failed at it. When I ask why, they say it’s because they couldn’t stop thinking. I say that’s good, it means you were able to notice yourself thinking. Many, probably due to mainstream media, have picked up the idea that you should stop thinking. No. The goal isn’t to stop thinking, the goal is to notice when you are, and when you notice, return your focus to the breath. Treat it like a game of refocusing. No need to analyse, judge, or troubleshoot any thoughts that arise, they’ll come back later if they were truly important.

Ingredient #7 — Watch for Self-Sabotage

There’s a concept discussed in the book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks called the Upper Limit Problem. The idea is that everyone has an internal thermostat for how much success, ease, or happiness they’re comfortable with.

When things start going well, you’re making progress, feeling good, you can cross that invisible line. And when you do, something can trigger. Without realising it, you start pulling yourself back down into what feels familiar.

Self-sabotage.

Without getting into all the psychology behind it, just know this can happen. And when it does, you need a protocol. Something you can rely on in that moment. A simple structure to bring you back, steady you, and move you forward again. Support from someone who genuinely understands your situation, can pick you up, champion you, and also see your blind spots, is second to none here.

You don’t have to do it all alone. Running your own little business is already lonely enough.

Don’t make it lonelier by trying to hold everything together by yourself.

To be fair, support could easily be the 8th ingredient… but I like the number 7 for lists.

Final point

You may have been expecting something more practical here like marketing, tax, accounting, or registering a business. That’s all important, but it tends to work itself out once you get going.

What matters more is you. Your mind.

What you believe, you can create.

These ingredients support that, and they’re all trainable, so anyone can do it if they really want it.

And that’s the question to leave you with, assuming you know what you want… how much do you want it?

The desire needs to be strong. Like the hunger to eat.

Without it,  nothing ever gets cooked.